Children, family and inheritance — United States

Names

A court petition in most states, usually with publication — and a marriage certificate is enough to take a spouse's name.

Name change is a state matter. Adults normally file a petition in the county court, which may require publication in a newspaper and a criminal background check, before an order is granted. Marriage and divorce provide simpler routes, using the certificate or decree. Some states allow gender marker changes by self-attestation; others require medical evidence.

Key points

In practice

• Ask for a publication waiver if you are at risk; most states provide one.
• Update Social Security first, then the driver's licence and passport, in that order.

Cost and coverage

Filing fees of roughly one to five hundred dollars, plus publication costs; fee waivers are available for low-income applicants.

Where to go

• County court self-help centres, which provide forms and instructions.
• Social Security Administration and State Department for federal records.
• Legal aid and LGBTQ legal organisations for assistance.

The general article: Names · Compare with another country

Adoption

Adoption is state law, not federal law: fifty different statutes, three main routes — foster care, private domestic and intercountry — and costs ranging from nothing to more than $70,000.

Full detail: Adoption

Assisted reproduction

American assisted reproduction is largely self-regulated. The Fertility Clinic Success Rate and Certification Act of 1992 requires clinics to report outcomes, which the CDC publishes; the FDA regulates the screening and testing of donated tissue; the American Society for Reproductive Medicine and the Society for Assisted Reproductive Technology issue practice guidelines that most clinics follow voluntarily. Eligibility, donor compensation, embryo disposition and surrogacy are matters of state law and of contract.

The CDC and SART data are the American patient's real advantage. Every clinic's outcomes are reported by age band and cycle type. The catch is that clinics can improve their numbers by declining difficult patients, so a very high success rate can mean very selective intake — worth asking about directly.

Compensated donation makes the United States the largest market in the world for eggs and sperm, with waiting times measured in weeks rather than years. It also means donor selection is a consumer experience, with photographs, education and profiles, which sits uneasily with how the rest of the world regulates the field.

Donor anonymity has effectively collapsed. Consumer DNA testing means that any donor-conceived person who tests will, sooner or later, find relatives. Reputable banks now operate open-identity programmes, and promising anonymity to a donor today is a promise nobody can keep.

Same-sex couples: access depends on the clinic and on insurance rather than on the law; several state infertility mandates were written around heterosexual infertility and have been amended. Surrogacy is a matter of state law, from well-regulated to prohibited.

Key points

In practice

• Check your insurance first: whether fertility treatment is covered, and whether your state has a mandate, changes the whole calculation.
• Compare clinics using the CDC and SART reports for your age band rather than clinic marketing.
• Complete the work-up, then agree a written treatment plan with itemised costs including medication.
• For donor or surrogacy arrangements, instruct a lawyer experienced in reproductive law in the relevant state.
• Decide in writing what happens to stored embryos on divorce, separation or death — courts enforce these clauses.

Cost and coverage

A fresh IVF cycle costs $15,000 to $25,000 including medication, which alone runs $4,000 to $7,000. Egg donation adds $20,000 to $45,000 once donor compensation and agency fees are counted; a gestational surrogacy arrangement runs $100,000 to $200,000. Around twenty states mandate some insurance coverage, but the definitions and exclusions vary enormously.

Where to go

• CDC ART Success Rates report and the SART clinic finder
• American Society for Reproductive Medicine, for patient guidance
• RESOLVE, the National Infertility Association, for advocacy and insurance information
• Licensed sperm and egg banks, and FDA-registered tissue establishments
• Academy of Adoption and Assisted Reproduction Attorneys, for legal referrals

Frequently asked questions

The general article: Assisted reproduction · Compare with another country

Childcare

There is no national childcare entitlement: costs are among the highest in the developed world, and support consists of a patchwork of state subsidies, Head Start and tax provisions.

The United States has no universal childcare system. Federal money flows through the Child Care and Development Block Grant, which funds state subsidy programmes for low-income working families, and through Head Start and Early Head Start for children in poverty. Families otherwise rely on the Child and Dependent Care Tax Credit, employer Dependent Care Flexible Spending Accounts, and their own income. Licensing, ratios and quality rating systems are set state by state, so both cost and standards vary enormously.

The number that matters is cost as a share of income. In much of the country, full-time infant care consumes a fifth or more of a median household income, which is the main reason one parent — usually the mother — reduces hours or leaves work entirely after a first child.

Licensing standards differ so much between states that the word licensed carries little information on its own. Ratios for infants range from one adult to three children to one to six, and inspection frequency varies from several times a year to almost never. The state database is the place to check.

Nanny shares and licensed family child care homes are the two most cost-effective options and the least visible. A share splits a nanny's cost between two families; a family child care home offers small groups and flexible hours at centre-like prices.

Key points

In practice

• Check your state's subsidy programme eligibility through the state child care agency; income limits and waiting lists vary widely.
• Apply to Head Start or Early Head Start if you may qualify: it is free and includes health and family services.
• Ask your employer about a Dependent Care FSA, which is taken pre-tax and often worth more than the tax credit.
• Check the state licensing database for inspection history before touring a centre.
• Get on waiting lists during pregnancy in high-cost metropolitan areas.

Cost and coverage

Full-time infant care commonly costs $10,000 to $25,000 a year, and considerably more in coastal metropolitan areas, where it can exceed college tuition. A nanny costs $35,000 to $60,000 a year plus employer taxes. Subsidies reach only a minority of eligible families because of funding limits and waiting lists.

Where to go

• Child Care Aware of America, which runs state-by-state referral services
• Your state's child care licensing agency, for inspection records
• Head Start and Early Head Start programmes in your county
• Care.com and Sittercity, for nannies and babysitters
• State pre-K programmes and local school districts

Frequently asked questions

The general article: Childcare · Compare with another country

Step-families

Everything depends on the state: step-parent adoption is common, and everything short of it is patchy.

Step-parent adoption is the most common form of adoption and, where the other parent consents or their rights have been terminated, it is comparatively straightforward. Short of adoption, the step-parent's position varies by state: some recognise a person standing in the place of a parent for custody or visitation, some impose a support duty during the marriage, and most give a stepchild nothing on intestacy without adoption or a will.

Everything depends on the state. Step-parent adoption is streamlined almost everywhere and is by far the most common adoption type in the country, usually requiring consent from the other legal parent or termination of their rights. Short of adoption, the picture is patchy: some states allow a step-parent to seek custody or visitation, others confine standing to biological parents, and a few recognise de facto or psychological parenthood.

Key points

In practice

• A signed caregiver authorisation for school and medical care is inexpensive and prevents most day-to-day problems.
• Name stepchildren explicitly in your will: general words about children usually exclude them.
• Check whether your state recognises standing for a step-parent before relying on visitation rights.
• Add stepchildren to employer health coverage during the enrolment window.

Cost and coverage

Step-parent adoption typically costs between $1,000 and $3,000 including filing fees and a lawyer, less where the court provides self-help forms. Contested custody litigation costs far more.

Where to go

• Family court of the state of residence.
• Estate planning attorney, for wills and powers of attorney.

Frequently asked questions

The general article: Step-families · Compare with another country

Inheritance

There is no federal law of succession in the United States. Each state sets its own intestacy rules, its own probate procedure and its own protections. In common-law states the surviving spouse can usually claim an elective share of roughly one third against the will; in the nine community-property states half of the marital property already belongs to the survivor. Children can be disinherited everywhere except Louisiana, which retains forced heirship for children under twenty-four or with a disability. Federal estate tax applies only above a very high exemption.

The most consequential American feature is that much of a typical estate never goes through the will at all. Retirement accounts, life insurance, transfer-on-death accounts and jointly held property pass by designation or survivorship. Reviewing those forms matters more than the will itself.

Community property changes the analysis completely in Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington and Wisconsin. Half of what was earned during the marriage already belongs to the survivor, so only the deceased's half is inherited.

Because law varies by state, moving is a planning event. A will valid in one state is generally recognised in another, but elective shares, homestead protections and probate procedure differ enough that a review after a move is worthwhile.

Key points

In practice

• Find the original will and file it with the probate court in the county of residence.
• Apply to be appointed executor or personal representative and obtain letters.
• Inventory the estate, notify creditors and publish as the state requires.
• File the final income tax return and, where applicable, the federal and state estate tax returns.
• Distribute only after the creditor period has closed.

Cost and coverage

Probate costs commonly run from 3 to 7 % of the estate once court fees, executor commissions and attorney fees are counted, and can be far higher in states with percentage-based fee statutes. A revocable living trust costs a few thousand dollars to set up and avoids probate entirely, which is why it is standard practice in California and Florida.

Where to go

• Probate court of the county where the deceased lived
• State bar association lawyer referral service
• Internal Revenue Service, for estate and income tax filings
• State department of revenue, for state estate or inheritance tax
• Plan administrators and insurers, for non-probate assets

Frequently asked questions

The general article: Inheritance · Compare with another country