Why this section belongs on a site about couples
Because sex is an important part of life as a couple, and the first thing people stop talking about.
Surveys show it with awkward consistency: it is almost never frequency that causes the problem, it is the
gap between two expectations nobody ever put into words. A pain kept quiet, desire that changes after a
birth, a difficulty believed to be shameful — each becomes grounds for a break-up for want of having been
a subject of conversation.
So this section exists to supply the exact words and the verifiable facts: anatomy, desire, pleasure,
consent, pain, what changes with age. With no norm to meet and no judgement, because a good share of the
difficulty comes precisely from the norm each person imagines.
What you will find here
Two sets, and nothing else. Desire and pleasure
gathers what belongs to wanting and to sensation: desire, orgasm, erogenous zones, touch,
oral and anal sex, desire after a birth, lubricants.
Understanding sexuality gathers the reference
points: consent and what the law makes of it, orientation, sexuality at different ages, the
questions everyone has, and the vocabulary to discuss them.
Three principles govern these pages. The vocabulary is exact: an organ has a name, and so
does a practice. Norms are refused: there is no normal frequency, no normal duration and no
normal level of desire — only the gap between what you live and what you want, which is the
one thing worth addressing. And consent is not a separate chapter: it runs
through every page, because it separates a relationship from an offence, in every
country.
Every page in this section
The full structure of Sexuality — sub-sections, pages, sub-pages and country pages — is on the site map, which lays out the whole site the same way.
