The three fronts
| The law | Which procedure, which court, what timescales. This is the best-mapped part and the one that causes the most unnecessary anxiety: in most countries an uncontested divorce is now settled with little or no judicial involvement. |
|---|---|
| The money | Matrimonial property, the home, debts, maintenance. This is where the ten-year consequences are decided, and the part people neglect because it is technical. |
| The children | Where they live, how time is shared, financial support. The only front on which winning against the other parent means losing. |
Divorce
Procedures, timescales and costs, with a page for each country.
Matrimonial property
What you signed on your wedding day determines the division.
Property and inheritance
What happens to the home, the savings and anything gifted.
Getting through a break-up
What genuinely helps, what makes it worse, and how long it takes.
The costliest mistakes
- Leaving the home with nothing in writing. Leaving does not forfeit your interest in the property, but the absence of a record complicates everything.
- Emptying a joint account. This is the act that turns a negotiable separation into litigation, and it counts against whoever did it.
- Using children as messengers. No effect on the other parent, a lasting effect on the child.
- Posting about it online. Screenshots of messages and posts end up in the file.
- Signing an agreement you have not costed. Maintenance accepted in haste applies for years.
What genuinely helps
- Family mediation. Cheaper than contested proceedings, quicker, and the agreements that come out of it last better because they were built rather than imposed.
- A written schedule in the first month for the children, even a provisional one. Uncertainty is what frightens them most.
- Two appointments with a solicitor, even for an amicable divorce. The first to understand your position, the second to review what has been agreed.
- Someone to talk to. The health data on separation is unambiguous: isolation is the main risk factor.
If the separation involves domestic abuse
Different rules apply: emergency procedures, occupation and non-molestation orders, and protection schemes. See the page on domestic violence, which also lists where to call.
Frequently asked questions
How long does a divorce take?
From a few weeks for an uncontested divorce without a judge, to several years where the substance is disputed. The decisive factor is not the procedure but the level of disagreement: the same situation costs ten times more when litigated.
Who keeps the home?
It depends on the matrimonial regime, the title, the tenancy and whether there are children. In the meantime a court can grant occupation to one party without prejudging the final division.
Is shared residence the norm?
No, it is one option among several. It requires geographical proximity, an ability to communicate and a pattern suited to the child's age. The legal test remains the child's welfare, not equality between parents.
Do we each need a lawyer?
In most countries, yes for an uncontested divorce: each spouse must have their own adviser, precisely so that an unbalanced agreement is not signed without anyone saying so.
How long until it stops hurting?
Work on relationship loss puts the hardest period at three to six months, with clear improvement by one to two years. What lengthens it: isolation, compulsively checking the other person's social media, and having no new daily structure.