You, or someone you know, is about to be forced into marriage
United Kingdom: Forced Marriage Unit +44 (0)20 7008 0151 (Foreign Office, also from abroad), Karma Nirvana 0800 5999 247, police 999; a Forced Marriage Protection Order can be obtained from a family court in hours. Ireland: Women's Aid 1800 341 900. United States: Tahirih Justice Center (571-282-6161), National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233. Canada: 911 and the Global Affairs emergency line +1 613 996-8885. Australia: My Blue Sky (mybluesky.org.au), Australian Federal Police 131 237. If the wedding is to take place abroad, act before leaving: once there, an embassy can help but cannot always intervene.
Arranged, forced, early: three different things
An arranged marriage is proposed by the families and freely accepted by both partners: it is legal everywhere and remains the norm across much of Asia and Africa — the page How people meet, country by country describes it. A forced marriage is concluded without the full and free consent of at least one of the two, under physical coercion, threat, emotional or economic blackmail. A child marriage (before 18) is, by definition, a forced marriage: international law holds that a child cannot consent to it. The three overlap, but the legal line is consent, not the parents' involvement.
The numbers are massive. The International Labour Organization and Walk Free estimated in 2022 that 22 million people were living in a forced marriage, two thirds of them women and a quarter children; UNICEF counts 12 million girls married before 18 every year and 640 million women alive who were married as children. The highest rates are in Niger (76% of women married before 18), the Central African Republic and Chad (61%), Mali, Mozambique, South Sudan and Bangladesh (around 50%), Ethiopia (40%), Nigeria (30%) and India (23%, the largest absolute number).
Bride kidnapping: where it is practised
"Marriage by abduction" — seizing a young woman and keeping her at the abductor's home until shame or her family forces her to accept the marriage — exists under several names.
- Kyrgyzstan: ala kachuu ("grab and run"). This is the best-documented case. The typical script: friends of the suitor seize the young woman in the street or outside her university, drive her to his family's house, where the women of the household press her for hours to put on the white headscarf that signifies consent; once she has spent the night there, her own family often refuses to take her back. Surveys estimate that one rural marriage in three begins this way and that around 12,000 kidnappings take place each year, a large share followed by rape. The practice has been illegal since 1997; since 2013 the penalty is five to seven years (ten if the victim is a minor), now under article 174 of the criminal code — but only one complaint in several hundred reaches a verdict. The murder of Aizada Kanatbekova, abducted in broad daylight in Bishkek in April 2021 and found dead two days later, triggered protests and a few convictions without ending a custom that many still present as "tradition" — historians show it spread mainly after independence.
- Kazakhstan (alyp qashu): less frequent, criminalised, but a few hundred complaints since 2019 for a far wider reality; Uzbekistan, Tajikistan, Turkmenistan: isolated cases, often dressed up as consensual elopements.
- The Caucasus: Chechnya, Dagestan and Ingushetia in Russia, where local authorities have officially banned the practice (fines for families) without stopping it; Georgia, Armenia and Azerbaijan knew it into the 2000s and it has become rare there.
- Ethiopia (telefa): abduction followed by rape to force marriage, mainly in the south and west; punished by ten to twenty years under the 2004 criminal code, declining but still reported.
- South Africa (ukuthwala): a Xhosa and Zulu custom of the mock "capture" of a consenting bride, hijacked since the 2000s to marry young girls to older men in the Eastern Cape; the courts ruled in 2015 (Jezile) that the custom is no defence to charges of rape and trafficking.
- The Sahel and West Africa: coercion takes the form of child marriage decided by the families, sometimes through an "abduction" agreed by the father; in Niger, Mali and Chad marriage before 15 still concerns one girl in four or five.
- Elsewhere: bride kidnapping is documented among the Hmong of South-East Asia (zij poj niam), in some rural areas of China and Vietnam, and in the Balkans until the mid-20th century. Europe itself knew it: the Roman and medieval raptus, punished by death under Frankish law precisely because it served to force marriages.
What the religions say
No major religion accepts a marriage without consent, which is a useful argument against a family invoking tradition. In classical Islamic law the marriage contract requires the bride's consent — a virgin's silence could count as agreement, but an express refusal invalidates the marriage, and the Hanafi school allows an adult woman to marry without a guardian; several senior muftis have condemned Kyrgyz bride kidnapping. The Catholic Church makes consent the very substance of the sacrament: a coerced marriage is void (canon 1103). Judaism has required the woman's consent since the Talmud; modern Hinduism and India's 1955 law require it too. The page The couple and religion details these positions.
What the law says in English-speaking countries
- United Kingdom. Forcing someone into marriage has been a criminal offence since 2014 (Anti-social Behaviour, Crime and Policing Act, up to 7 years), including taking a person abroad for that purpose; since February 2023 in England and Wales any marriage under 18 is also an offence, with no exception. Forced Marriage Protection Orders (since 2008) can confiscate passports and forbid travel; breaching one is a crime. The Forced Marriage Unit handles around 300 cases a year, mostly linked to Pakistan, Bangladesh and India.
- United States: no federal offence, but forced marriage is prosecuted as kidnapping, assault or trafficking, and taking a minor abroad for marriage is a federal crime; states such as New Jersey, Delaware, Virginia and Minnesota have banned all marriage under 18, while most still allow it with parental or judicial consent. Canada: offence since 2015 (Criminal Code s. 293.1, 5 years), with peace bonds to prevent departure. Australia: Commonwealth offence since 2013 (up to 9 years), My Blue Sky support service. Ireland: offence since 2019, minimum age 18 without exception. India: the Prohibition of Child Marriage Act 2006 makes child marriages voidable and punishes adults involved; forced marriage of an adult is prosecuted under the general offences.
- Istanbul Convention (article 37): all States parties must criminalise forced marriage and luring a person abroad to marry her. A forced marriage celebrated abroad is not recognised where it offends public policy, and foreign victims can obtain protection and leave to remain.
Recognising a forced marriage in preparation
- A trip "for the holidays" or "to see the family" announced suddenly, especially in summer, with a passport the teenager does not keep herself; the mention of a "cousin" or a "good match"; new surveillance and restrictions (phone confiscated, outings banned, withdrawal from school).
- A change of mood, anxiety, absences from school; an older sister or cousin married very young in the same circumstances.
- Pressure presented as protection: "it is for your own good", "you are dishonouring the family", the threat of being disowned — it is this emotional blackmail that, legally, makes the marriage forced.
What to do
- Before any departure: talk to a trusted adult (school nurse, teacher, social worker), call the Forced Marriage Unit or Karma Nirvana; keep a copy of your papers and the embassy's details in the country; agree a code word with a friend. The tip spread by Karma Nirvana — slip a spoon into your underwear to set off the airport scanner and be able to speak to officers alone — has genuinely led to rescues.
- There: contact the embassy or consulate (British nationals in danger abroad can call the FCDO on +44 20 7008 5000, 24 hours); do not sign, do not hand over your passport; an imposed religious marriage is worth nothing before the law at home.
- Afterwards: a forced marriage can be annulled, violence and marital rape prosecuted, and a victim, minor or adult, can obtain protection, refuge accommodation (specialist charities have dedicated places) and legal aid.
- For a relative or friend: do not confront the family alone; alert children's services for a minor, the police or a charity; note facts, dates, words.
Further reading
Where rape goes unpunished, country by country and slavery today — including servile marriage — complete this page; the consent country pages give each country's age of protection, and Protecting your children the legal age of marriage country by country.
