Why use one
Natural lubrication varies with the person, the point in the cycle, tiredness, stress, menopause, some medications including hormonal contraception, and simply how long foreplay lasts. Too little lubrication makes penetration uncomfortable and can cause small tears that raise the risk of irritation and infection. Lubricant is also essential for any anal play, which has no natural lubrication at all.
The three families
| Type | Advantages | Watch out for |
|---|---|---|
| Water-based | Safe with latex and with all toys, easy to wash out, well tolerated. | Dries faster: may need reapplying. |
| Silicone-based | Very long-lasting, works in water, good for longer sex. | Damages silicone toys; harder to rinse off. |
| Oils (natural or cosmetic) | Pleasant texture, often used for massage. | Not safe with latex condoms, which they weaken and can cause to break. |
Condoms and lubricant: the rule
With a latex condom, only water-based or silicone-based lubricants are safe. Any oil or grease — massage oil, petroleum jelly, body lotion, coconut oil — can weaken latex within minutes and cause failure. Polyurethane condoms are compatible with oils, but latex ones are not.
Choosing well
- For sensitive skin, prefer products without perfume, glycerin or warming agents, which commonly cause irritation and thrush.
- Very high-osmolality lubricants can irritate the vaginal and rectal lining; the World Health Organization recommends lower-osmolality products, information usually available from the manufacturer.
- If you are trying to conceive, choose a "fertility-friendly" lubricant: standard products can impair sperm motility.
- Products marketed as aphrodisiac or stimulating have little evidence behind them and can irritate. A plain, unscented lubricant is the safest choice.
What to avoid
Household and kitchen products used for something they were not made for: cooking oil, petroleum jelly, body lotion, saliva. Oils weaken latex, and several of these products upset the vaginal flora, which encourages thrush and infections.
Be wary too of heavily perfumed, coloured or warming lubricants, which frequently irritate sensitive tissue. When in doubt, a plain unscented product is almost always the better choice, and pharmacies sell them cheaply.
Frequently asked questions
Which lubricant should you choose?
Water-based for everyday use: compatible with every condom and every toy, easy to clean, but it dries and needs reapplying. Silicone-based lasts longer and works in water, but it damages silicone toys. Oil-based, never with a latex condom: it weakens the latex and makes it break.
Is needing lubricant a problem?
No, it is entirely ordinary. Natural lubrication varies with the cycle, age, tiredness, stress, hormonal contraception, breastfeeding, menopause and many medications. Using a lubricant is a matter of comfort, not of compensating for a defect.
When should you see a doctor?
If dryness is constant and troublesome in daily life, if sex is painful despite lubricant, or if it appeared suddenly. Persistent dryness can be related to menopause, to a treatment or to a gynaecological condition, and there are simple medical answers.