What it means
Premature ejaculation describes ejaculating consistently sooner than wanted — often within a minute of penetration, sometimes before — to the point where it causes distress for one or both partners. Occasionally finishing quickly is not a disorder: what defines the problem is its persistence and the distress it causes, not a stopwatch.
A very common experience
Surveys in every country where they have been run consistently find that a large proportion of men report this at least occasionally, making it the most frequently reported male sexual difficulty. It can occur at any age, but is more common during early sexual experience or in new circumstances — a new partner, an unfamiliar setting.
The main causes
Physical causes (erection, prostate or thyroid problems) are sometimes involved. It is usually linked to limited experience or infrequent sex, performance anxiety, low confidence, or stressful conditions (no time, fear of being interrupted). These feed each other: fear of "failing" speeds up ejaculation, which reinforces the anxiety next time. Occasionally it accompanies erectile difficulty, thyroid problems or prostate inflammation, which is why a check-up is worthwhile if it appears suddenly.
What helps
- Talk to your partner. That alone removes much of the pressure.
- Longer foreplay, so your partner is already close to orgasm before penetration.
- The stop–start technique: interrupt stimulation just before the point of no return, wait 30 to 60 seconds, then resume. Repeated five or six times before allowing ejaculation, it teaches control over several weeks. The "squeeze" technique works on the same principle.
- Carry on afterwards if your partner has not orgasmed, rather than stopping all contact.
- Thicker condoms or local anaesthetic sprays and creams, available from pharmacies, reduce sensation and are a reasonable first step.
When to see someone
If it persists, a GP, urologist or psychosexual therapist can help. Options include sex therapy (often as a couple), relaxation techniques, and medication: certain SSRI antidepressants delay ejaculation and are prescribed for this purpose — dapoxetine is licensed specifically for it in a number of countries. Attending as a couple usually improves the outcome.