Where it comes from
Speed dating was born in 1998 in a Beverly Hills café, on the initiative of Rabbi Yaacov Deyo and the organisation Aish HaTorah: he was looking for an efficient way for the young Jewish singles of Los Angeles, scattered across an immense city, to meet. The idea — rotating participants from table to table for timed conversations — was registered under the trademark "SpeedDating" and copied around the world within two years; an episode of Sex and the City (2000) and the film Hitch (2005) made it familiar. In the UK the first events date from 2001–2002 (SpeedDater launched in 2002); the word has entered the language to the point that recruiters run "speed interviewing" and companies "speed networking".
How it works
An evening usually gathers 7 to 12 men and as many women in the same age bracket (25–35, 35–45, 45–55, 50 plus…), in a bar or a booked restaurant. Each participant receives a badge with a first name or a number and a scorecard. The women stay seated, the men change table at the signal — a bell, a gong — every seven minutes (four to ten depending on the organiser). At the end of each conversation you discreetly tick "yes" or "no"; the next day the organiser matches the cards and passes on contact details when both said yes. There is therefore no face-to-face rejection and no number given under pressure, one of the reasons for the formula's success, especially with women. The evening lasts two to three hours and often continues at the bar.
The variants
- By age bracket (the rule), by orientation (gay and lesbian nights, nights for trans people and their admirers), for single parents, for seniors, by religion (Jewish speed dating — the original —, Christian, Muslim "halal" with chaperones, Sikh and Hindu speed dating in Britain and Canada), by degree or profession, for vegetarians, for gamers, for tall people.
- Silent: you look into each other's eyes for a few minutes without speaking (eye gazing). In the dark or blindfolded: only the voice is judged. Walking (hiking dates), cooking, around a book (everyone brings their own), playing (pub quiz, escape room).
- Online: apps offer rounds of three-minute video dates; the formula exploded during the 2020–21 lockdowns and has survived on a small scale.
What research has learnt from it
Speed dating is a dream laboratory for psychologists, because hundreds of people make comparable choices under the same conditions. Eli Finkel and Paul Eastwick (Northwestern, 2008) showed that the rule "women sit, men rotate" is not innocent: reverse it and women become as unselective as men — whoever moves is the more open. Raymond Fisman and Sheena Iyengar (Columbia, 2006) measured that men say yes twice as often as women, give more weight to looks and less to perceived intelligence, and that both sexes prefer, on average, partners of their own background. Robert Kurzban and Jason Weeden, using 10,000 HurryDate participants (2005), concluded that the choice is made on visible criteria — age, height, build — and in a few seconds: three minutes are enough, seven change nothing. Finally, what people think they want ("someone ambitious", "someone funny") predicts poorly whom they actually pick face to face: speed dating has served to show that stated preferences on dating sites are worth little.
What it costs, who runs it
Expect £15 to £30 per person in the UK (often with a drink), $25 to $45 in the United States and Canada, A$30 to A$50 in Australia, €20 to €30 in Ireland, more for dinner or activity formats. The longest-established organisers are SpeedDater (since 2002, 30 UK cities), Original Dating, DateinaDash and Slow Dating in Britain; Pre-Dating (since 2001, 100 US cities), 8minuteDating and the events of the big apps in the United States; 25Dates in Canada; CitySwoon and Fast Impressions in Australia; in Ireland, local organisers and, every September, the Lisdoonvarna matchmaking festival. Many pubs, Meetup groups and the app Thursday also run their own nights. Check before paying: the age bracket, the announced gender balance (good organisers refund if it is not reached), the venue, the cancellation policy, and the organiser's real existence — fake events are sometimes sold online.
Making the most of it
- Come alone or with a friend not in the same round; arrive a quarter of an hour early.
- Prepare two or three open questions ("what made you laugh this week?", "where would you go tomorrow if you could?") and ban the interrogation — job, salary, exes.
- Seven minutes are not for knowing everything but for knowing whether you want to know more: tick "yes" as soon as there is curiosity, not only a thunderbolt.
- Write nothing unkind in front of the person and do not ask for a number: the organiser handles it.
- If a match comes up, quickly suggest a first date in a public place, with the same precautions as for an online meeting.
- Regulars exist — some attend every month for years; it is not a flaw, but it says something about the formula: it multiplies meetings, not couples. Match rates run around a third, and a small minority of matches lead to a relationship.
See also singles events, specialised meetups and how people meet country by country.