The legal framework
The Supreme Court held in Obergefell v. Hodges in June 2015 that the Constitution requires states to license and recognise same-sex marriages. In December 2022 Congress passed the Respect for Marriage Act, which repeals the Defense of Marriage Act and requires federal and interstate recognition of marriages validly celebrated elsewhere — a safeguard adopted precisely because the constitutional ruling could be revisited.
The American picture is layered rather than uniform: a constitutional decision, a federal statute, and fifty state legal systems that still diverge on parenthood, surrogacy and discrimination outside work. For a binational couple the practical consequence is that the answer to almost every question is state-specific, and that the documents worth having are the ones that travel — an adoption order rather than a birth certificate.
Key points
| Marriage | Nationwide since Obergefell v. Hodges, June 2015 |
|---|---|
| Federal statute | Respect for Marriage Act, December 2022 |
| Interstate recognition | Required by the 2022 Act regardless of where celebrated |
| Adoption | Available in every state; step-parent adoption widely used |
| Parenthood | Presumption of parentage varies by state; a confirmatory adoption is often advised |
| Surrogacy | Regulated state by state, from fully supportive to prohibited |
| Discrimination | Employment covered federally since Bostock, 2020; other areas vary by state |
In practice
- Even where a birth certificate lists both parents, a second-parent or confirmatory adoption is widely recommended: an adoption order must be recognised in every state and abroad, a birth certificate need not be.
- Check the surrogacy law of the specific state, not of the country: the differences are extreme.
- Outside employment, protection against discrimination depends entirely on state and local law.
- A US marriage is recognised across the EU and in most countries that have opened marriage.
Cost and coverage
A marriage licence costs roughly thirty to one hundred and fifty dollars depending on the state. A confirmatory adoption typically costs one to three thousand dollars including legal fees — widely regarded as worth it.
Recent changes
The Respect for Marriage Act, signed in December 2022, guarantees federal and interstate recognition of same-sex marriages and repealed the Defense of Marriage Act.
Where to go
- County clerk's office, for the marriage licence.
- Family court of the state, for confirmatory or second-parent adoption.
- State human rights commission, for discrimination outside employment.
Worth knowing
The Respect for Marriage Act requires recognition of existing and out-of-state marriages, but it does not by itself require every state to issue licences if the constitutional ruling changed. That is the precise limit of the protection.
Frequently asked questions
Why get a confirmatory adoption if both parents are on the birth certificate?
Because a birth certificate is an administrative record, while an adoption order is a court judgment entitled to full faith and credit in every state and generally recognised abroad. Lawyers advise it precisely for couples who move or travel.
What does the Respect for Marriage Act actually do?
It requires the federal government and every state to recognise a marriage that was valid where celebrated, and repeals the earlier federal definition of marriage. It does not compel a state to issue licences if Obergefell were overturned, which is why it is described as a floor rather than a guarantee.
Official sources and links
- USA.gov — official guide to government services
- Congress.gov — federal legislation