Is your relationship solid?

What this test measures

Not love — it cannot be measured —, but the behaviours that longitudinal studies of couples have linked to lasting or separating: criticism aimed at the person, contempt, defensiveness, withdrawal, and on the other side repair attempts, friendship, tenderness, plans. Twelve situations, the answer closest to your reality, and a commented result. Answer for yourself, not for the other; do it again in six months.

Further reading

• Making it last — what research actually measured, and the four behaviours that damage.
• A rough patch, or a real problem?
• What is your attachment style? — the other half of the explanation.

Inspired by the work of John Gottman and colleagues on the predictors of separation. Twelve questions do not replace an interview: a relationship counsellor has far more complete tools.