How it unfolds
American weddings are highly sequenced. A rehearsal dinner precedes the day; the ceremony follows a processional order with a wedding party of bridesmaids and groomsmen; the reception then runs through a fixed series — grand entrance, first dance, parent dances, toasts, cake cutting, bouquet toss, last dance.
American weddings are built around a sequence of set moments, and the running order is more standardised than in Europe: rehearsal dinner the night before, processional with bridesmaids and groomsmen, officiant — who may be a friend ordained online — vows, recessional, cocktail hour, first dance, parent dances, toasts, cake cutting, bouquet toss, send-off. Guests generally give from a registry rather than cash.
Key points
| Rehearsal dinner | The evening before, for the wedding party and close family |
|---|---|
| Wedding party | Bridesmaids and groomsmen, with named roles |
| Processional | Set order of entry, rehearsed in advance |
| Unity ritual | Candle, sand or handfasting, chosen by the couple |
| Toasts | Best man and maid of honour, at the reception |
| Cake cutting | A photographed moment in its own right |
| Registry | Gift lists are the norm and are expected, not presumptuous |
In practice
- A gift registry is standard practice and considered helpful rather than grasping.
- Marriage licences are issued locally and often expire within weeks: time it carefully.
- The wedding party carries real duties, including cost: ask before appointing anyone.
- Regional and community traditions vary enormously across the country.
What it costs
The average US wedding runs around $30,000 to $35,000, with wide regional variation; New York and California are far higher. The marriage licence itself costs between roughly $30 and $150 depending on the state.
Recent changes
Online ordination of friends to officiate has become mainstream, though a few states restrict it; micro-weddings and weekday celebrations have persisted as a way of controlling cost.
Who to ask
- Families and elders, for the customary steps.
- Registry office, for the civil marriage.
- Place of worship or celebrant, for the ceremony.
- Local caterers and venues.
Worth knowing before you take part
Customary and religious ceremonies carry enormous social weight, but only the civil registration produces legal effects — inheritance, parentage and recognition abroad all follow from it.
Frequently asked questions
What is a rehearsal dinner?
A dinner the evening before for the wedding party, close family and out-of-town guests, following a run-through of the ceremony. It is traditionally hosted by the groom's family. If you are invited, it is a genuine event, not a formality.
Should you give money or a gift?
A gift from the couple's registry is the default in most of the country, though cash is normal in some communities and regions. Check whether a registry exists — couples expect you to use it, and buying off-registry is mildly frowned upon.
Official sources and links
- USA.gov — official guide to government services
- Congress.gov — federal legislation