Wedding anniversaries

Where the list comes from

Associating a material with each anniversary is a Victorian custom, later extended and standardised — and commercialised — in the twentieth century, notably by American jewellers who added the "modern" list of gemstones alongside the traditional one. The logic is simple: materials grow more precious as the years accumulate, from fragile paper to gold and diamond. Nothing about it is official, and the lists differ slightly from one country to the next.

The main anniversaries

Many countries offer an official congratulatory message from the head of state for long marriages and hundredth birthdays. These have to be applied for in advance, with proof of the date, so check the rules where you live well before the anniversary.

Marking the day without overdoing it

The big celebrations cluster around the round numbers — 10, 25, 50 — but nothing says you have to wait. A few ideas that work better than a predictable dinner:

• Repeat exactly what you did the day you met, or on the wedding day itself: same place, same route, same meal.
• Give something in the year's material, playing with the incongruity — leather and tin lend themselves to humour rather than solemnity.
• Each write a letter to be opened in ten years, stored with the previous ones.
• Put the year's photographs into a physical album — a small ritual that compounds over time.
• For the milestone years, renew your vows: no legal effect, but often deeply moving, particularly with children and grandchildren present.

Further reading

• European e-Justice Portal — marriage formalities in each member state
• Hague Conference — recognition of marriages and documents abroad

Links to official or reference sources. They open in a new tab.